FIRE! FIRE!

Today I was up to my elbows in Funfetti when GB came into the kitchen to cook some french fries in the toaster oven. I didnt see him turn it on, but I heard a noise coming from that corner of the kitchen and I turned around just in time to see A FIRE INSIDE THE TOASTER OVEN! I yelled FIRE! FIRE! GB replied "huh?" from down the hall. I grabbed the flour and a scoop and threw a cup of it in to put out the fire. Whew. Then I took the toaster oven outside. It was stinky.

So the toaster oven? She is toast.

CAKE!

My BFF's daughter is getting married this Saturday and somehow or another I volunteered to do the wedding cake. And by that I mean that I was briefly inhabited by aliens and didnt have any control over my bodily functions. No, really, this friend is my dearest, best friend in the world and I am thrilled to be a part of this special day for their family. I have done lots of cakes, but never a wedding cake. I've done one "weddingish" birthday cake, it was 3 tiers with columns. But never for. A. Real. Wedding. Inhale.......exhale.....

In all seriousness it is going to be a funfetti cake with white fondant and yellow polka dots (fondant is the rolled icing that you see on Ace of Cakes or Cake Boss).I worked with the fondant for the first time yesterday and it really is not too difficult to work with. So I bought 17 funfetti cake mixes yesterday at Kroger. Bought all they had. I havent figured up exactly how many more mixes I need, probably around 10 more.

I have dreamed about cake twice in the past 2 weeks. One dream was that instead of the polka dots I put baby pictures of the bride and groom all over the cake. I told the groom's mother about this dream and she said "That would be....different." HAHA!
One friend on facebook even dreamed about cupcakes last night after I posted about the cake!

I will post lots of pictures when it's all done.

Word of the Day Wednesday #8

Mondaze

The fog that takes you half a day to shake off because its Monday.

Word of the Day Wednesday #7

Redneck Teleprompter

Crib notes written on a public speaker's hand in order to remind him or her what to say during a speech or interview.

Dang, I thought that was called Mississippi Palm Pilot (never runs out of battery, screen never breaks, OS never crashes....)

NOT LISTENING!!!!

see more

This just cracked me up.

Im done now.

Dixie Carter, You Will be Missed

One of my favorite shows to watch is Designing Women starring Dixie Carter who passed away this weekend at the age of 70. Her portrayal of interior designer Julia Sugarbaker was powerful and empowering at the same time and is probably her most memorable television role. She portrayed a genteel old-south southern woman, not in a fiddle-dee-dee Scarlet O'Hara sort of way, but in a "pump you up and then dress you down before you knew what hit you" sort of way. This video is one of Julia's most popular rants, and features her husband Hal Holbrook. Despite her liberal ramblings on the show, she was a Republican and made the producers promise that for every liberal rant on the show she would be allowed to sing on a future episode.

Dixie not only was a fabulous tv actress but also had an amazing singing voice. Who can forget her rendition of "O Holy Night" She also performed on Broadway, most recently in "Thoroughly Modern Millie" in 2002.

She was born in McLemoresville, Tennessee and she and her husband spent half of their time here in Tennessee and the rest at their other home in Beverly Hills, CA. She attended University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Southwestern at Memphis (now Rhodes College), and Memphis State University (now University of Memphis).

We will miss you, Dixie.

www.halfoffmidsouth.com

(Caution! Shameless promotion of husband ahead!)

My hub has a promotion at his work which sells restaurant (and sometimes other things like oil changes or car wash, etc) gift cards for half off. He is the "face" of the promotion (see! his picture is up there^) and appears on the tv commercials promoting it on his station. It is doing really well and we get lots of comments from friends who have purchased them and liked it. Hey, eating out for 1/2 off is not bad!

Stop by the website www.halfoffmidsouth.com and see what is available. The selection changes every so often so bookmark it. I know he is adding Carwash USA soon (50.00 gift card for 25.00). He also has a facebook fan page, if you're into that.

Word of the Day Wednesday #6

Bi-Surgical:

Nurses who work in Same Day Surgery who learn to work in Recovery Room, and vice versa. Um, yeah they go both ways.

Yummy goodness

After I took GB to the doctor yesterday to confirm his diagnosis of being a sick puppy(no they didnt put a cast on his neck. dangit), we headed over to the giant red bullseye store (rhymes with blarget) to get his prescription filled. He mentioned that he felt like he could eat a little something so I stopped over at this place to get some yummies. I dont know what it is about this place, but this song pretty much sums it up. And yes, the strongest urges to eat here are always on the day that they are closed.

Got a sick one.....now with parenthesis!

Got a sick kid (GB, sore throat, maybe strep). My kids arent sick much, and when they are, they arent sick long. They both had pneumonia one winter back to back (or "the ammonia" as DQ called it) and that totally was enough. I had had enough of sickness (I know, the irony, Im a nurse) and was so ready when they were well and both back to school. Mercy, it is not my gift. Yes it is true that I made GB march in a Christmas Parade with walking pneumonia (or "marching pneumonia" as the pediatrician called it). And he was the Drum Major so not only did he have to march in the parade with pneumonia, but he had to do it BACKWARDS. I lost my Mother of the Year trophy shortly after that. Hey, we didnt KNOW he had pneumonia till after the parade, ok? Yes I DID TOO take him to the doctor.

But you know its bad when the kids are ready to go back to school, and even sick of being home.

GB informs me of this tonight when I say Im taking him to the doctor in the morning (Im up for Mother of the Year, again). "I cant miss more than 3 days or I wont be exempt from my exams."

Im thinkin I wont be able to hear him once they put that cast around his neck.

Dad in a Jar. Now, With Added Irreverence!

My dad, like my mom, had severe COPD and was on oxygen at home for almost a year. Eleven months to be exact. He loathed the oxygen, despite the fact that it let him be somewhat independent. He tripped over the tubing (which would almost stretch from his house to Walmart and back) several times. When he would curse it I would threaten to seal it up in his urn with his ashes for all of eternity. Boy, that really got him going.

He almost met with a premature self-inflicted cremation when he forgot he was wearing the oxygen and lit up a cigarette. My mother did it several times with no results but my dad was not so lucky. I was not present at the time (but would have loved to be a fly on the wall) and he tried very hard to cover it up. Except for the Hitler-ish soot marks on his upper lip. And the scorched oxygen tubing that I found on the floor days later that looked like a rolled up piece of black duct tape. That little incident bought him a couple days in the hospital with thermal damage to his lungs. And lots of chuckles and eye rolling from the hospital staff I'm sure.

When my dads ashes were ready for pickup I got a phone call from the funeral home "Mrs Arthur your father has arrived." I said "Oh if he just walked in off the street we got trouble." You could hear crickets chirping on the phone. "Im on my way."


They presented the marble urn to me, complete with tote bag (free with $100 purchase?) and death certificates. And an envelope. "This is in case you want to take him on an airplane" the funeral director said. "Um, Im not planning on taking him on vacation" I replied. Again, crickets chirping. "Well some family members like to scatter the ashes and this proves they are legal human cremains" (a creepy word, dontcha think?) "OH! I got it! This is my permit to carry!"

"Lady, we just dont get people around here with a sense of humor."

I guess not.

Is this your special day?

Once I had a random someone from work (a male voice) call my husband's voice mail to say "Call Mr Lyon at xxx-xxxx," and left the number of the local zoo. When they answered he said (Im sure he didnt catch them say Memphis Zoo) "May I speak to Mr Lyon" they said "Really? Do you know what day it is?" They didnt think it was funny. But I did!

Happy April Fool's Day everyone!